by CONMEBOLONEA?
If we’re honest, the January transfer window is a silly season, a chance to fantasize. What would happen if player X joined Club Y? Just think about xG and pressure stats, transition control and IP verticality. Very good! But equally, to continue this outbreak of honesty, the January 2024 window hasn’t exactly sparked creativity yet.
Is Jadon Sancho returning to Dortmund? A little obvious. The main issue arising from Ian Maatsen likely to join Jadon at Signal Iduna Park on loan from Chelsea is: how many other 21-year-olds are called Ian? Did the Maatsen family side with the Beales when it came to the internal war that always took place in Albert Square? Are “Phil” and “Grant” popular names in Vlaardingen, Maatsen’s hometown in the south of Holland? Anyway, moving on: Ivan Toney to Arsenal for £100m? It seems unlikely. Perhaps giving Bukayo Saka a proper rest could be more profitable.
Wild speculation is the food of the gods for those asked to write daily tea-time football-based emails. And José Mourinho has always been a hero around these parts for his ability to draw attention to himself, creating a frenzy among fantasists. The latest rumors from the wide Mourinho universe are that he is in the list to lead the Brazilian team.
OK, Portuguese language: consult. An expressive, carefree football that embodies the free spirit of a football culture that values art over achievement? Well, not entirely. Mind you, Luiz Felipe Scolari (the great Phil, so to speak) barely employed the free-form tactics of 1970: Clodoaldo coming out of defense, Pelé being celebrated more for his clever misses than for his actual goals, and all that. And Big Phil was the last truly successful Brazilian coach. As in: he won the World Cup. Brazil’s current interim coach is Fernando Diniz, who you may remember from Fluminense’s appearance in the Club World Cup and his “relational” football. That involved his team doing Clodoaldo stuff before he was robbed in his own area for Manchester City to score.
If Brazil are looking for a winner then Mourinho could be the right man. He certainly used to be, although he’s never been the same since he set out to beat Pep Guardiola in Spain when he was at Internazionale… and he set out to beat Pep Guardiola in Spain when he was at Real Madrid. But while Pep has spent time since then cementing his reputation as the greatest and most influential coach of them all, José has lost his touch.
Still, he remains a god in Rome, although it is suggested that his high wages are problematic for Roma, seventh in Serie A. A Saudi move has been ruled out, but Brazil appears to be more to his special tastes. “I don’t know if it’s true or not about Brazil, because they didn’t speak to me directly,” José avoided, like Neymar.
Imagine it. Mourinho sequestered, Lowry-style, in a São Paulo skyscraper, suggesting he can’t find enough players in Brazil, covering prodigy players Luke Littler before reviving 2014’s Fred as a big man to pitch to. In 2024 we need this.
LIVE ON A GREAT WEBSITE
Join Scott Murray for exciting FA Cup action (Crystal Palace v Everton) from 8pm GMT.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Nikola returns with one goal: to help Hajduk win the title after 19 years” – Mindaugas Nikolicius, a very happy Hajduk Split player, announces the return of former Croatian international Nikola Kalinic to the club, with a total salary of 1 euro (86p).
LETTERS FROM THE FOOTBALL DIARY
“For ‘Kuddly Ken’ read ‘Cousin Kevin’…. Your photo of Ken Bates with the Subbuteo cake (Memory Lane, yesterday) reinforced the sad truth that I, and probably many others of a certain age, simply cannot read or hear the word ‘Subbuteo’ without that famous Undertones song . our heads. I bet Ken has a fur-lined shearling jacket too” – Allastair McGillivray.
“Like Jürgen Klopp, I also accidentally lost my wedding ring 19 years ago. Upon returning from my honeymoon, I diligently, as a newlywed, went to deposit used paper in the trash can on the street in Amsterdam, unknowingly also depositing my newly minted ring in said deposit. The municipality of Amsterdam swore that they did everything possible to find the wedding ring among the tons of paper, but unfortunately, not being Klopp and having to buy another ring, I couldn’t afford any more search options” – Gerry Rickard.
Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s winner of our non-prize card of the day is… Allastair McGillivray.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
It’s Football Weekly Weird: Thursday’s team (Max Rushden, Barney Ronay, Philippe Auclair and Kieran Maguire) try to answer the question: what will the future of football look like?
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Jonjo Shelvey will not return to Nottingham Forest after the loan they announced in September… because it turns out that they actually terminated his contract before the player’s free transfer to Turkish side Caykur Rizespor. Will Unwin goes deeper, exclusively.
Sean Dyche is not convinced that the winter break is working: “I don’t see the point when you have had so many games in December. It’s not that beneficial,” he said gruffly.
La Liga is back after its mid-season break: Girona remains level on points with Real Madrid after Iván Martín slotted in in the 91st minute to seal a 4-3 victory over Atlético de Madrid.
As a thank you for coming out of international retirement, the Cameroonian federation has made André Onana available for Manchester United’s match against Spurs on January 14, 24 hours before their match against Guinea in the African Cup of Nations.
Wataru Endo is in good form for Liverpool, which he admits makes it an awkward time to be competing in the Asian Cup with Japan. “Of course I want to stay here,” he huffed. “But as a national team player it is important to me, since I am the captain,” he added hastily.
The Ibrox stand on Copland Road will have a new “singing section” in time for next season, as well as new accessible display. “The atmosphere is recognized around the world and the club is committed to improving it,” the club said in a statement.
Striker Alejo Véliz has joined Spurs’ long injury list with a “quite significant” knee problem. Fortunately, Micky van de Ven is about to return from November’s hamstring pain.
DO YOU STILL WANT MORE?
Which Premier League players will be absent for Afcon and Asian Cup? Michael Butler goes club by club and finds only three that have not been affected…
Wayne Rooney should have been given time and patience at Birmingham and the next call from the club’s owners is important, warns Karen Carney.
$tevie G MBE’s Saudi adventure is on the line, sighs John Duerden, after Al-Ettifaq’s eight-game winless streak.
Former Arsenal striker Folarin Balogun has failed to match Reims’ form from last season with Monaco but remains a big part of the USA’s plans, writes Graham Ruthven.
MEMORY LANE
Almost 34 years after Crystal Palace booked their place at Wembley following a thrilling 4-3 FA Cup semi-final against Liverpool, Eagles fans will be looking forward to another memorable night against a Merseyside team tonight. Look at the joy on those faces. Have Palace fans had any reason to smile since then?
FLAGS!
