by Christmas is upon us. The goose is getting fat. The latest round of Premier League matches was a testament to competition. Everything (apart from Manchester City) went as conventional wisdom said it should based on form and results. there was not real VAR controversy to highlight. Mikel Arteta was booked on the sideline. What’s next, snow on Christmas Day?
The obvious exception was Bournemouth’s abandonment against Luton Town after Luton captain Tom Lockyer suffered cardiac arrest. Lockyer remains in hospital at the time of writing.
Trophies are not handed out at this point in the season, but there were many winners and losers on matchday 17.
Cliché of the week
Liverpool were going to win at a canter, according to the masses. That it doesn’t match last year’s 7-0 score would be the only surprise. Therefore, the way the goalless draw played out was inevitable.
The most pressing issue is that even the most-watched Premier League match, which attracts crowds of up to 600 million worldwide, cannot be delivered by Postmates delivering entertainment to your doorstep. Blockbuster matchups are supposed to make blockbuster games. But this time of year is relentless. Players have to recover and play while trying to avoid the looming specter of a torn hamstring. Liverpool’s expected goals xG of over 2.50 suggests they were unlucky not to win against United, but the match was plagued by lethargy. It was a festive bonanza of failed and successful passes, shots from distance and poor decisions at key moments: 181 failed passes combined throughout the game tell the story.
Players at this level cannot perform at their best every time they step on the field, especially at such a demanding time of year. Anfield on Sunday offered another sobering reminder.
Goal of the week
This really isn’t a very high bar this week. Therefore, let’s give the prize to a Goal that didn’t happen. Mykhailo Mudryk’s first-half try against Sheffield United was set up by sublime touchline skill from the Ukrainian only to almost concede a throw-in thanks to his resulting effort.
There’s something about long-range shots that almost hit the corner flags that leaves fans deeply embarrassed. They carry with them the air of dark family secrets and unspeakable pain.
Unfortunately, Mudryk now bears the brunt of bringing the humiliation to Stamford Bridge’s doorstep. Mudryk, one of the princes of Todd Boehly’s plot to revolutionize Premier League team building by handing out ever-larger contracts that can be amortized (a term that means spreading the cost of a transfer over the life of the contract of a player, but which should be dropped into a relaxed conversation over a pale ale to show him In fact knows what he’s doing), has become the example of Chelsea’s problems under Boehly’s command. Want to guess where Mudryk ranks among forwards and midfielders on xGChain this season, a measure of a player’s creative involvement? 143rd! Only 14 eligible Premier League players have had less impact on the ball this season. Mudryk is behind the likes of Pelly Ruddock Mpanzu, James McAtee and Will Hughes this season. The distinction? Mudryk cost Chelsea $112 million; Mpanzu, McAtee and Hughes cost $7 million set. Phew.
His long-range effort against Sheffield United may represent the lowest point, although he still has seven years left on his contract. We should all laugh a little more and appreciate the humility of wayward effort. After all, eventually you get in.
Nicholas Lyndhurst Award for Scene Stealing
“Watch your back, because he’s going to steal every scene he can,” Kelsey Grammer told The Guardian in an interview earlier this month. Grammar was describing Nicholas Lyndhurst, who plays Professor Alan Cornwall in the new Frasier reboot. But he might as well have been talking about Newcastle’s Lewis Miley.
On a day when new and recurring injuries, a much-needed win, the sublime Bruno Guimarães and a red card could have been the headlines in Newcastle’s 3-0 win over Fulham, Miley stole the scene by own right. The 17-year-old became the youngest Premier League goalscorer to put his team ahead. He accompanied a goal by creating two opportunities, generating four ball recoveries and completing 14 of 18 passes in the final third, in addition to overcoming counterpressing (six) in his substitute appearance. It’s his height, balance and ability to find space between the lines that gives him the look of someone far beyond his tender years.
Statistics of the week
If Crystal Palace’s two shots on goal for two goals at the Etihad Stadium are no surprise, the fact that they finished with a higher xG (1.66 to 1.62) than Manchester City should be. City’s lack of ruthlessness is becoming a problem for Pep Guardiola. His team has an xG overperformance of 1.74 on their cumulative total of 40 goals so far this season. Last season this time they had also reached 40, but they were exceeding with 9.26.
Of course, like most problems with City, this is a first world problem. But this weekend’s draw shows what happens when perhaps you need an extra bit of magic on top of the already established excellence. Alternatively, you could simply not concede twice with 15 minutes remaining. Both points are equally relevant.
‘And I took it personally’ award
For the second game in a row, Richarlison stepped up for Tottenham with a goal in the team’s 2-0 win over Nottingham Forest. The Brazilian is a strange phenomenon. He is both the league’s longest-serving and longest-serving number nine forward. He is physically skilled and seemingly welcomes contact from defenders, only to revert to theatrics and acting at the first opportunity. There is a lot to talk about about his game: his pressures are exemplary (19.11 per 90 minutes on average); his assisted xG is a humble 0.12 per game. And it’s worth noting that he is rarely employed through the Spurs center. But, ultimately, the best response to his criticism will be goals. That’s what Richarlison has delivered over the last two games, becoming a walking Michael Jordan meme, the epitome of the guy who took it personally. And it’s when he plays with that kind of extreme fury and proving them wrong that he’s at his best.
Infuriating FPL hipster transfer of the week award
I’m the guy who buys skin-contact wine for Christmas lunch. Filling my tree with Actreryx delights and rare vinyl from the 70s B-side jazz scene. I’m also the guy who persevered with West Ham’s Brazilian talisman Lucas Paquetá, who picked up 14 Fantasy Premier League points for his hat-trick of assists against the Wolves on Sunday. In these uncertain times of Erling Haaland’s unavailability, it is necessary to get points from elsewhere, and Paquetá has shown once again how his quality goes far beyond that of a mid-table rival. A true difference maker when he needed it most.
Mismatch Award between Paddy Pimblett and Tony Ferguson
I know little to nothing about the UFC. I basically know “PaddyThe Baddy.” But I sat down to talk to Pimblett-Ferguson to make a point about James Milner, a Premier League stalwart exuding honesty and talent, who toiled his way through an afternoon against Arsenal’s exuberant winger Bukayo Saka.
It was a classic situation: Milner, the old and tough fighter against Saka, the young and unruly local hero. Both crossover sports highlight reels can be just as difficult to watch as each other. Punches rain down and one tortuous sideline runs towards the other. However, both veterans come out of their confrontations with incredibly credible optics. For Ferguson, it was a points decision that ultimately decided the fight. While Milner can credit Saka’s zero successful dribbles during the hour he was on the pitch for some praise. Either way, both fights told the story of a mismatch that will leave veterans sore in the morning.
The turkeys vote for the Christmas prize
When Sean Dyche returned to Burnley, there was a chance he had set himself up for a drop. The Everton manager switched to a back-five system after winning his last three Premier League games 6-0 on aggregate using his usual 4-1-4-1 formation. The system change was partly due to injuries and partly because Burnley had an xG against of 0.39 per game, according to Statsbomb. In the land of shrinking violets, fill your team with giants, right? It could have gone badly for Dyche and Everton.
Instead, Burnley once again showed that they are the crowned turkeys of this Premier League season. They exude naivety under Vincent Kompany. They defend high and static. They press without structure. They may be on an educational journey, a modest effort, but the supposed progress and evolution should not seem so turgid and laborious. A 2-0 loss to his former coach could force a stylistic opportunity and, if not, a change on the bench.
Dubious VAR decision of the week
As games go, this round was relatively easy by VAR standards. A few offsides and increasingly reckless challenges aside, this was one of the quieter weekends of refereeing influence. Most of the VAR-induced controversy centered on Brentford’s 2-1 home defeat to Aston Villa. Ben Mee’s red card left Thomas Frank furious and he will be singled out as the catalyst for Villa’s comeback.
Praise should be reserved for Unai Emery and his tough coaching staff. Emery’s double swap of Leon Bailey and John Duran for Moussa Diaby and Matty Cash on the hour turned the game around. It was a bold move to switch three defenders, but Emery’s faith in an increasingly stronger team meant Villa were able to upgrade key positions with quality without panicking, which ultimately led to the comeback. Well done, Emery and the boys. That’s a good process.
